PERSEVERANCE: “STAYING POWER”

“Many of life’s failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.” - Thomas Edison

Years ago, I sat in a room with some folks and one guy, Jimmy, said he had always wanted to be a photographer and have a cover photo on National Geographic magazine - the best. He spoke about how he would daydream of the places he would travel and equipment he would own. Then he added, “I wanted to just wake up and be a photographer. I didn’t want to put in the time and effort that’s required.” I laughed. Looking back, it makes a lot of sense.

Without realizing it, I’ve had this same way of thinking over the years. First, I wanted to be sober. My life was in shambles, I couldn’t hold down a job, my grades were failing, and my relationships were all on the rocks. In my mind, I could imagine myself sober and happy. The life I wanted was crystal clear and included family, career, purpose, close friends, and lots of pets. Like Jimmy, I wanted to wake up and have that life. Even though the vision was there, the path either seemed too treacherous or the result unattainable. There were periods of desperation and I would take steps in the right direction but would give up after a brief period of time.

Setting goals and starting projects full of good intentions but quickly running out of steam has been a pattern of mine. There was a time when I wanted to lose weight. I could imagine how my life would be and the things I would do. My health would improve, and I would feel good in my own skin. There were mountains I would climb and waters I would snorkel. I could even imagine the clothes I would buy and wear without care or worry.

Everything I ever wanted to accomplish started with some vision or daydream about where I saw myself in the future. The path from point A to point B is rarely clear, but it’s there. It is often overgrown with doubt, insecurities, fear, and resistance.

My good friend at Live Well Fit, Suzi McKee, gave a perfect illustration a few years ago. Have you ever been to a farmhouse or campground and used an old-fashioned water pump? There is a handle on the outside of a pump that pushes water up when the handle is pumped up and down. Repeating this action for a period of time forces the water out of the spout. Sometimes it takes a while for the water to flow. You pump and pump with nothing. Finally, the water gushes out. For a while, it seems like nothing is going to happen.

That’s when I am most likely to give up. If I had just been persistent the water was right there. I’ve always liked instant gratification and waiting is not one of my strong suits. I think that’s why many of us fail or don’t stick with our plans that we envision. Repeatedly I have given up when the reward seems elusive.

Reflecting on those things I did envision and accomplish, I can see how perseverance was the key. Looking for the quick fix or short-cut never got me anywhere. Don’t get me wrong - I usually try that way first. Lose 20 pounds in 30 days, ignore the switch-back on a trail by cutting through, use the cliff notes, and half-ass an assignment are all tempting ways to reach that vision I have in my mind. My grown kids still squeal with terror if we are driving somewhere and I announce, “I think I know a short-cut”. That’s code for “We are about to get really lost”.

My very first day of law school at Mercer University, I was terrified. I already felt like a failure as I looked around at all of the younger students and couldn’t see how I was going to survive the next three years. My contracts professor walked in the room, hung his coat up, stood at the lectern, and introduced himself. Then he said:

“Welcome to law school. This isn’t a race to the finish, this is a daily trudging. Some days you are beat down and get everything wrong. Don’t quit. Don’t give up. Other days it all falls into place and you feel on top of the world. Some days you know all the answers. Don’t get cocky and don’t rest. Keep trudging. That’s how you get to the end”.

Thank you for those life-changing words, Professor Kosek. It probably saved my career in school. I had learned through getting sober that I could trudge, so it gave me some hope.

It’s most important to dig deep and plow ahead during those periods when I feel I can’t do it anymore. It’s in this space where I learn that I am more capable than I know. That’s the reward! It’s not the pounds, the degree, the business success, or even the mountain-top necessarily. Those are the by-products or the results, but not the reward. The prize is knowing I have it within me to persevere. When I get back from a long hike that was particularly challenging and even brutal, the most memorable part of the adventure is the moment right before the top. I spend the majority of the time remembering that section where I almost turned around and went downhill. Surprisingly, these are often my best memories. Many years of experience has helped put my attention on persevering without focusing on the end result. There will always be setbacks and frustrations along the way and I can use those as motivation or I can throw in the towel and fail. There is NO FAILURE if I keep trying. My mom, Dot Mooney, used to always say, “It’s crazy to start swimming across a river with a strong current and get three quarters of the way across and decide it’s too hard so you turn around. Hell, you have a shorter distance to just to keep going to the other side.” It’s that unfamiliar territory that always seems so daunting. Once I practice this, I no longer fear those spaces because I know what’s important. It’s that last quarter mile distance.

As the New Year is getting under way, I will push through and keep pumping. I pray you all persevere and reap the reward! God is Good. Always.